Are you bitches ready for the first crossover review on the wiki?! Well here it is, FLASH AND ARROW!
Flash vs. Arrow
So Barry says everyone has feels and he helps people get laid. Damn, the Flash is the hero we need, but not the one we deserve. He also gets an erection staring at Iris. No arguments from me bro. So a douche in sunglasses goes around making people angry that a CSI fanboy is around, and everyone proceeds to kill each other. So Olicity Shippers vs anti Olicity shippers? So everyone tries to kill each other but thankfully Barry is slower then a crime but faster then a bullet. Trust me, I know how fast a cringe is, I've seen Charmed. So Iris and Eddie fuck while talking about Buzzfeed when Iris sees her blog gets more views. Eddie doesn't believe in the Flash, he believes in rational things. Like storms happening inside a bank. Barry tells Joe the obvious thing that happened... An evil guy is around making people angry.
So Eddie tells his captain 'I can't stop mentioning my boyfriend because I'm very lonely and he defines me and if he wasn't around I'd probably kill myself and no one would miss me' Singh. He hates his boyfriend for not letting him get fat. Fuckin Boyfriends, wanting you to be fit. So Iris's fan fictions causes Eddie to get angry and he wants to kill the Flash. Barry is glad Eddie is jealous. That means he has a chance. Barry also mugs Singh for his burger. Poor Singh. Cisco does his best Yoda impression, and everyone kicks his ass for it while Harrison learns they were mind-controlled to be evil. Barry gets texted to be seen as the flash for Iris, but Caitlin gives him good relationship advice. Barry ignores her. Fuckin Flash.
So Flash reveals his real name is Ralph. Meh, shoulda said Bart. Iris says she wants to be just friends. Barry proceeds to run away. So the gang find the meta with the police ready to kick ass. Unfortunately, he not only makes the police angry, he also makes them racist! Barry saves Joe, and stops all black shootings forever. However Barry is helped, by Oliver! He also likes Barry's mask. So Big Belly Burger is everywhere, and has grease and salt on everything. Also Diggle's reaction to Barry's speed?
Gets me everytime. He is the only normal man in a world of freaks and gods. Felicity says a boomerang is killing people, and she says its full of iron oxide. Central city is full of that. Iron oxide.... Is rust. Felicity is saying Central City... Is basically Rust city.
Felicity: Basically Barry, this boomerang is shit, and so is your city. I gathered that the two are connected. Barry tries to be smart but Ollie interrupts him, and Diggle says he knows a guy who stutters cause the Speed Force is racist. Barry takes Felicity to STAR labs to gather more about the boomerang, and sets her dress on fire, showing her bra. When did this become Star Trek Into Darkness? Also she gets a cool STAR labs sweater. So Cisco finds something vibrating. Damn, Cisco and vibes? So Barry is told to meet up with Joe and Harrison, who are not fans of Oliver. See, Joe never liked Arrow and Harrison knows season 4. They suggest leave Oliver while Caitlin is nearly decapitated by a boomerang thrown by Cisco. Joe blames Oliver.
So Oliver and Diggle have a debate about if Barry can pee fast. I think he pees fast. So Oliver finds out the threat is Roy. A competent Roy, I mean. BTW, Roy didn't come because he woulda scooted the carpet in the car. So Iris reveals she has a crush on Oliver. She's everything she wants in a man. Handsome, rich, funny, brooding, nice, and white. Too be fair, I'd fuck him if I could. Also she says Oliver is on her cheat list, alongside Hugh Jackman and 1980s Harrison Ford. Oliver and Barry team up to fight Roy! First plan? Oliver puts arrows in Barry. Barry deserved it for Flashpoint. Joe tells Barry that Oliver is torturing people for info, and Barry defends Oliver. Harrison says he hates the Arrow show, and wants her back on her show. He also wants to know who Oliver is. Felicity tells him to fuck off.
Felicity asks if Oliver shot Barry, and finds out she wasn't joking. Well Roy is shown to be around, and Barry says he can take Roy without Oliver 'Puts arrows in you' Queen. He's a strong independent Speedster who don't need no archer. So he beats up Roy but Roy hits him with rage and apparently Roy is a speedster cause he escapes. Or Barry had a freak out for a few minutes. Caitlin says Barry needs to stop being dumb, and Barry says 'Bitch you have a dead fiance' card. That is just plain rude. Ollie calls Barry, because he wants to put some more arrows in him. Arrows of the verbal kind. He says he saw shit like magic, evil generals with stupid plots and Ivan Drago. Barry though says Oliver must be jealous and acts like a bitchy girl in an ep of degrassi.
Oliver may not be as fast as Barry but his penis is bigger. I think. I don't know how big Grant's dick is. So Singh tries to boss around Barry but Barry tells him fuck off, he's doing his job and he doesn't need a boss telling him to do shit when he is doing it. Joe tries to help but Barry tells him fuck off, he's tired of everyone's shit. Joe tells the gang he knows what's going on, that Barry is just going fighting it off but he will explode. So Harrison says they need the arrows help. Iris and Eddie have the worlds 86th most awkward car ride involving superheroes when Barry kicks Eddie's ass because he is tired of Eddie's shit. The STAR gang learn Arrow is Oliver BTW. So before the Flash can kill Eddie, Oliver stops him. What follows is in my opinion, one of the best damn fights in the entire Arrowverse. Just go watch it.
This is how you do superhero fights, BVS! MAKE OUR HEROES LIKEABLE WHILE GIVING THEM A REASON BEYOND 'Meh, they kinda are annoyed by each other and someone forces them to fight for some reason.' Oliver defeats Barry by giving him a stroke from flashing lights. Our hero! Thankfully it makes Barry sane. They soon stop Roy by kicking his ass and Caitlin calls him Rainbow Rider in the most adorable way ever. Oliver also says his prison is bigger then Barry's. It is. Oliver let's tthe gang know he would love to do another crossover, but it better be about aliens or it will suck. Also somehow Felicity became booty Spivot in this scene AND I just caused everyone to check that scene didn't I? So Harrison tells Ollie he knew his dad. They were both part of the creepy rich people club, and Ollie doesn't like him.
So Eddie tells Iris he wants to kill the Flash. Iris is cool with that. Love the high beat music during it! MURDER PLOTS IS GREAT! So Ollie tells Barry about the heart. He needs to let Iris go, cause it will never happen. He should know, a genie told him he and Felicity will turn out shit, and for all Barry knows, an evil giant Speed God will kill Barry. Also we meet a certain woman I want to talk about in season 4 so moving on. So Barry as the flash tries to apologize to Iris but she hates The Flash because she is part of the CW, and the only emotion that network believes in is ANGST! So Barry is sad, but you know who is sadder? Hobo Firestorm.
The Brave and The Bold
So on Arrow, Roy pretends he's the flash... And he horribly fails. Roy fails at everything, so I won't blame him for this. So they do what all brave vigilantes do, invade people's home to find boomerang killers. So the entire place is full of bombs. Oliver deals with this situation by blowing the house up. Oliver don't believe in no protection of people, he believes in being crazy! They do find the place is full of Argus agents. The two fight each other for who has the biggest balls and while Roys is small and shriveled, Oliver's is big and ripe for EVIL! So the gang find out the dead guy was an ARGUS agent and Oliver says he thinks Diggle is a manwhore who needs to get married. So Amanda Waller tells Ollie he has his new job. Torture! He has to torture a terrorist to find some bombs. Can Oliver find the will to torture? I hope so, cause that would be great!
So Caitlin and Cisco invade Felicity's place and they want to see the Quiver. Cisco just wants to see the place, and Oliver learns Cisco is me. No lies, I like how the scene is funny.
Also Roy likes Cisco cause Cisco says he likes red more then green. This is a genuinely funny scene. So Diggle says ARGUS agents aren't capable of handling a guy with a boomerang, and he is proven right when the guy begins to kill multiple agents with his boomerangs. Also hey Ashur, didn't Slade's girlfriend kill you? Also he has a catchphrase. Fuckin Boomerang. Lyla says ARGUS is supercool and they have everything handled, while their entire security team is killed by a man who is duel wielding boomerangs. No offense to Digger, but if your high secured place gets your ass kicked by a guy who's main weapon is boomerangs, just stop... You all suck. So they creat a really shitty blockade where he kills them all with ease. Thank god they know how to point guns but not how to fire them or Digger would be doomed! Barry comes in to help and Thea is surprised. It will take a season for her to learn about the flash at all BTW.
So Ollie and Roy battle Captain Boomeraqng who kicks Roys ass the entire fight and Barry saves Oliver. Also Digger is a speedster and a magician cause he escapes before Barry can stop him. Fuckin Barry. So Lyla spills the beans, Digger was an agent of the Australian government who became a mercenary and become a suicide squad member. His mission failed yet he survived the explosion. Barry does the salmon bar and Cisco tries to do it and can barely do one push-up. Cisco is us. So Barry gets some Chinese food and he outs himself to Lyla cause he thinks they're married. Or something else. Oliver asks if they can speak and Cisco tries to take a photo. How is the arrow ep funnier then the flash ep? Oliver tells Barry he has to be boss and Barry agrees. So he shows Oliver how he carries them. Cisco finds the company that made the boomerangs and Lance arrested whoever did it.
So Lance mistakes Barry for Bart and he asks strange questions like who he arrested, why, where he is, and how he is. Also Bravta. Oliver also wonders if he's still part of the Bravta. Roy almost pees himself in joy when Barry says he looks good. Barry takes down the Bravta in a few secs. See this is why vigilantes and superheroes don't mix. It reminds me of an old sketch show where two superheroes went to solve crimes. One was a vigilante with martial arts skills, Supersmart, and had lots of gear. His partner? God. Kinda an unfair team up. Well Oliver has to step up with BRUTAL TORTURE! They get the info. So Barry expands beyond the previous ep by saying he is not a fan of Ollie's torture. Oliver tries to use his Freudian excuse but Barry says eff that, his life sucks too. So Lyla asks about Speedy and Oliver says he and Roy are perfect. She asks about Barry and he says things are shit. Lyla says they gotta be bold when no one else will, and Oliver agrees.
Felicity also hacks into a sattilite. Now I like how despite the torture, Barry still works with Oliver DESPITE obviously not liking what he did. He doesn't do a speech, or act petty, or puts down Oliver. It's obvious from his tone he doesn't like what Oliver did, but he isn't acting petty about it and affecting their team up. So I gotta give a point for Barry acting like an adult. Is he pissed? Yes. Is he justified? In my opinion, yes. Is he allowing this to affect how he and Oliver work together? HELL NO!
Thanks for making Barry seem like an adult. So Oliver dips his toes in the pool of torture by deciding to arrow the terroist, but the guy guesses Ollie's problem. Killing? Yeah, people can do that. Torture? Oh, that's different. Well the bomb goes off anyway, showing even if Oliver tortured the guy... He wouldn't have succeeded. Diggle and Cisco try to talk, and Diggle finds the whole thing weird. Diggle says the world is weird now, and Cisco gives an AWESOME speech about how superheroes are around to deal with the insanity of the world. Bam, the glass half full to superheroes around.
So Barry defeats the bad guys again but Ollie saves Barry from one guy who was hiding. So turns out Digger knows where the base is cause he hacked the phone. He attacks and Lyla tries to protect Felicity and Caitlin. Bam, Lyla is awesome. However she isn't part of the show more because... Reasons. Digger also still has a hard on about boomerangs and shit. Felicity blows him the fuck up while Caitlin heals Lylas injury of having a giant boomerang in her. Fuckin boomerangs. Barry takes Lyla to the hospital while the gang deal with the idea of their base being infiltrated. Again. So Amanda blames Oliver for letting a bomb go off while she let an amateur do this. So the blood is on Amanda's hands. She says Oliver is better then he thinks he is. He CAN torture people. So Thea hands drinks while Roy is terrified. Cisco asks if he can bang Thea and Felicity warns him. She dated Roy! That's worse then someone with super AID's.
So Cisco and Caitlin admit this is the first time they ever dealt with a real threat and things make it real. Oliver blames himself for this while he gives a nice speech about how he feels less like himself and more like the arrow. Barry says that's crap. He says Oliver survived not by being a monster, but by being a human. His kindness surpasses his bastard nature. I like Barry's little speech.
So Digger is at the train yard but Barry gets everyone away so the two can talk. By talk, I mean kick his ass. Digger says he has bombs all over Starling, and he also says they can't move one without all exploding. Not even Barry can stop em, but he uses the greatest FRIENDSHIP to stop it while Oliver takes on Digger. They succeed. Also Barry sees Oliver resist killing... Something we all know is harder on him then we thought. So Diggle asks if he can marry Lyla. Lyla is so hopped up on drugs, she says yes. The two gangs agree they are both awesome and they build a little case for Barry. Just in case when he's in town. So Cisco builds Oliver some new gear that makes him stronger. Oliver is so happy, he may smile. Also Barry and Oliver... Decide to have a rematch. Amanda wants Oliver to torture but I don't care. Instead the rematch is more important. The two are just so funny and happy with each other, and OLIVER wants to fight Barry. This isn't even a serious fight, it's just two people wanting to have fun. Barry even tells Oliver... He can inspire people. So the two battle to see who is the greatest hero. We never see the fight, and we don't know who won.
It was Barry BTW.
Still a great scene!
Score: 10! An epic episode and must watch. https://youtu.be/wDajqW561KM
MVC: Oliver for all his development, his funny lines, and his badass action.
MSC: Singh, for cheating on his boyfriend... With a burger.
Thoughts: Somehow, the Arrow VS Flash ep wasn't as good as the Brave and the Bold! Both eps were great for their action, comedy, drama, and still furthering the plot of both! I love how both eps praise the other hero. Flash makes Oliver look wise, skilled, and very smart, while Arrow shows Barry to be powerful, inspirational, and intelligent. Both episodes were great, but Brave and the bold was just plain better! If you want to do a crossover of superheroes right, watch these two!