I promise uh... Less video links this time.
The Man Under the Hood
So our heroic band of brave heroes do what any courageous gang of do gooders do... Blow up innocent people's stuff. You know, to stop evil. Also they use clock mans crap. Yay, this will never be used again. So after a scene of our heroes saving all the guards before they blow up a building, we see Ollie kind of sad he destroyed part of his family's company to save Starling City. Isabel acts like a bitch, saying only evil people would blow up a building creating evil super soldiers. So our heroes are glad they destroyed one of the ways he can make an army. So Laurel, does the wall of news article...
OKAY STOP! Does this really ever help? I mean, for real? I get making this... But on your fucking wall? What's the point? Hell, ONE PIECE OF PAPER or if you want to be generous, sheet paper can do what you need. Also, I doubt news articles will help.
So Laurel asks Lance about the man under the Hood (TITLE DROP, SHOTS!) and asks what he knows. Lance says he knows less then Jon Snow. Laurel is pissed though, and is ready to find out if he really is the Arrow. Well the lawyer comes in, saying they may be screwed if they don't protect their assets. Problem is, they need Thea... And Thea decides being a poor asshole is better then being a rich asshole. Oliver blames himself for what he did, and Moria says it is okay. She then drops the bomb that Oliver's dad slept with Isabel.
Oliver mentally throws up, and so do I. <Vomits> So Thea tells Ollie to get Thea to sign this. Oliver does so, after vomiting in the toilet for an hour. So the plane gang decide to torture Ivo, but Ivo says he can stop Slade. With the power of dance! Also, he knows the cure. So Sara and Oliver talk... At the bar, I mean. The gang can't find Thea. Thea is pissed because fuck you, she hates lies. That's why she will lie for most of season 3. So they head to the base, where Slade is. Ahh shit, of course security sucks. All security in Arrowverse sucks. Hell, EVEN I, can break into the Quiver, S.T.A.R labs, the time ship, D.E.O HQ, and most likely now Constantine's place. Still, badass fight scene to show Slade wants to destroy Oliver, not kill him.
So Laurel heads in, hearing she was injured a lot. The doctor even tells Laurel that Sara is wrecked everywhere. Except her face, of course. So Laurel questions her, but Oliver information blocks her. Well this makes Laurel realize that Sara... IS BISEXUAL! Also the Black Canary. Or some shit like that. So Oliver heads to see Thea at the bar, and tells her they need her help to live. Thea responds by saying fuck you, I'm an asshole. Look Thea, you ARE A FUCKING QUEEN! Not Thea Merlyn. Your father and mother are the people who raise you, not who birthed you. So shut your hole up, and be a member of your family.
Thea: But everyone lied to me...
LIKE YOU LIED ABOUT BEING ON DRUGS?! Oh, what were they supposed to say?
Moria: Your dad slept around a lot, so I slept around a lot. GOOD NEWS, YOUR DAD IS THE DEVIL!
So quit whining! Boo freaking who, their are more problems then...
Thea: I tried to kiss Tommy.
Never mind. That's some Game of Thrones shit. Go along being pissed. So she runs off, while the gang tells Ollie Slade is after the most technological place in Starling to recreat his super drug. There, we see two unimportant characters I shall name, Crisco and Crystal. They are doing something like shutting down technology or something, these unimportant main characters are too unimportant for me to care. So Clisco and Louise find that the security guard is dead, from Slade.
Slade: Eww, unimportant characters? MUST KILL!
So the two filler non canon characters run away while Cbisco and Elsa find a gun from Dr. Light, everyone's favorite retarded rapist, and fire it at Slade. He's more bothered then anything, and finds what he needs. Ahh shit, thanks a lot Sisco and Ice man with a vagina. So Felicity asks the two lamos if they need any help, and asks about Barry. Disco says that Iris comes in. Felicity is jealous, cause Iris is hotter then her. Which she is. So it seems that this thing can transfuse one person's blood to many others. They decide to let Slade use it, so he can be weak. So they head out while Anatoli tells past Ollie to let the hate in and kill Ivo.
Ivo asks for one thing. A quick death. NO DEAL! Also, Ollie is wearing his stupid green makeup mask. Why? Well Ivo explains he has made the cure... Despite never finding Mirakuru. That is just weird. Well Ivo wants to die now. Oliver goes to see Isabel who asks her if she knows anything about Slade. Isabel says sure, and she explains that her entire motivation and goal... Is revenge. BECAUSE SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH ROBERT. Wow... That is so unfeminist, I am surprised. Like, Arrow isn't perfect, but I would never accuse it of sexism. Isabel's main motivation is just revenge cause Robert stopped fucking her. Lady, that's lame. She also outs that Robert knew Thea wasn't his daughter, but he still loved her. Man Robert, if you weren't a murdering thieving cheating ho bag who got thousands fired, I would really like you. Well Oliver Queen is kicked out of Queen Consolidated. How weird. Well Ollie calls Thea ready to let her know some info.
Diggle tells Ollie that Laurel wants to see the arrow, while Lance is in his cell. A prison guard acts really nice and genuine with him, telling him that Lance will get out because he is innocent. Wow, a nice prison guard, and most likely a good friend of Lance. Maybe he and Lance are old buddies, or maybe Lance saved his life at a prison break in, or possibly, in some way... The man can tell if Lance is a good man... And has. WELL FUCK THAT SHIT, cause he gets killed by some guy while Lance asks for help. Seems the guy knows Lance, and wants revenge, so he Starts beating Lance. Lance is saved, but two men are now dead. Ouch. So Laurel and Oliver meet, with Laurel saying she hated the Arrow and Ollie, but also loved the Arrow and Ollie. She knows who he is. Roy Harper. Well, she's called to go see Lance.
Lance tells Laurel of how 60 guys beat him up, after he defeated maybe half of them alone. Well Laurel tells him she knows who the Arrow is. Lance then tells her no... And explains why. The Arrow is a symbol, not a man. He is living proof that one man CAN change anything. He also tells Laurel how much the guy must suffer doing this. This is a rather Great speech, to be honest.
Laurel heads to the DA, and tells her to stop being an asshole and let Lance out. The DA decides pissing off Laurel is no good cause let's face it, she can be the worst bitch in your life. She also tells her to be wary... Oh shut up you racist. Telling invisible people to act more black. So Thea dresses up in her Jessica Jones outfit, with Oliver heading to her... And is Sladeblcoked by info of how to defeat Slade. Felicity though, tells Oliver to wait and be with Thea. When Ollie turns around... Thea is gone. What a bitch. So Oliver heads out to find out that the thing going on, is that the victim of the whole thing is Roy.
Poor Stupid Roy Moment: 36
Damn, great way to bring him back this episode, the poor victim of a life and death situation. Did this show really not know he was the butt monkey? Well Slade warns Ollie of Roy dying if he touches the thing, and Slade and Isabel mock Roy for being a pussy.
Poor Stupid Roy Moment: 37
So Oliver destroys the machine, and Slade, Isabel, and Oliver have a three way. As a fight, I mean. Oliver takes the two out, and frees Roy. Also, Diggle shoots Isabel. Fuckin Diggle, am I right? Out of nowhere kick ass! Well Ollie, Roy, and Diggle escape. The gang decide to cure Roy, and Oliver shows the Mirakuru he stole. He reveals he had the cure... But decided killing Slade was better. So at the plane, Sara is ready to shoot Ivo, when Ollie stops her. Ivo says he used to be a good guy, till he BLAM, shot by Ollie. Oliver gives no shits about your monologues. Well, the gang head out via submarine. Well Thea heads out, and Oliver comes back saying he wants to speak. Thea runs off. Nah, instead he tells her dad knew.
Moria is surprised, and well Robert is no moron. Thea isn't blonde. Oliver says everyone loved her, and she should stop being an asshole. Robert was her dad, no matter what. She says Robert is a liar, and runs off.
What a fucking bitch. Even with someone who adored her, she runs off in a huff. Well Ollie checks the picture of his family, and Laurel comes in. They hug. Slade also decided to make Isabel a Mirakuru soldier, and also her daughter. Plus, he has an army wearing his mask. How cute.
Score 6: Slightly above average https://youtu.be/6YMPAH67f4o
MVP: Oliver, for killing Ivo.
MSC: Thea, for being a bitch. I get her behavior, but it's still annoying. Plus, she trusts Slade, the guy who kidnapped her?!
Thoughts: You may all say Thea is in the right, and I get she has a point... But she still acts like an asshole. Even to her dad. Despite that, Oliver and the others win a few rounds but lose some, those two non important characters will never return again thankfully I think, and also Ivo is dead. Happy days.