OMG, OMG, OMG... BARRY EPISODE! WE HIT THE BARRY EPISODE!
Lightning. How cute. So some guys fight some figure, but this was two years ago... By now, they already died. So Moria heads back to work, and Felicity sexually harasses Moria. Isabel is pissed to see Moria, now not being the best woman in that room. She doesn't want Moria kicking her ass in every scene, and wants her out. Diggle tells Ollie a break in happened. So we see some guy on a train in the rain, heading somewhere. Diggle says the door was too powerful to break by anything less then a crane. The guy is TOO SLOW to head anywhere, having his spirit animal be a sloth. Lance makes a joke about a spare earthquake machine. Oh please... That's at Malcolm's. So they wonder what happened, when BARRY comes in. Barry Montage!
I never said it was Barry Allen. He says his job is to find weird shit, and he thinks that some weird shit went down. I like this idea, that Barry Allen wants to find the impossible. Also, Oliver despises him. Yes, yes, and more yes. Barry blows everyone away with how smart, quirky, and how he may burst out in song every scene. Also he and Felicity flirt by being adorably dorky. So he tries to say that weird shit happened because SCIENCE, while Ollie looks like he believes it. So at the island, we see Slade has become that alien with the black and white face from Star Trek. Shado asks about Sara, and Ollie tells her they fucked. Seems Shado is pissed he cheated on Laurel... After they fucked. Also HOLY SHIT, he is the black and white faced alien from Star Trek.
Slade: I hate him because he is black on right, and white on left, while I am white on right, and black on left.
So they see that yep, it was one guy. Barry comes in, wanting to help by setting up there, cause of Felicity. Felicity says they can use him to solve the case. Oliver fears though, he knows the reason. So Oliver heads to Moria, with her sad about the trial. So Ollie decides it's time to party hardy, while Roy shits himself thinking of party time. Barry sets up the world's bluest blue thing, which by now, I bet he hates blue. Cause Zoom broke his back, you see. So Barry asks about the Arrow, and he suspects that Ollie trained in the forest cause he wears green. He also says he can penetrate better. He also knows he has partners. Barry is rather smart, and I like it.
Kind of hard to remember that cause he's a smart guy surrounded by geniuses. So he tells her the reason he is the way he is cause his mom died. They also find he wears sugar. So Roy heads to see Sin with Thea, and Sin need to find her friend, Max. Thea thinks Roy should help, cause how hard is that? So Malcolm comes in, sad that Moria didn't invite him to the party. He says fucking Moria made him ditch the city. Damn, Moria must be awful at sex. So he tells her to tell Thea, or he will. So Barry and Felicity find that sugar has been tracked in, and think a sugar factory is there. So they see the blood factory has just been robbed by the same guy. Ollie heads it to stop him, while he wants Diggle to search up Barry. Barry rubs him off wrong.
So Grundy drives off with his blood, stuff, and salt. So Oliver attacks him, but he uses his super strength to slam Ollie around like he's a child. Even Oliver's arrows are flattened on impact. So he tells the gang that he seen those abilities from the island. Man, next he'll tell them of how he saved China, and stopped a terrorist organization of using evil magic. He tells the gang that he destroyed everyone connected to the drug, and the drug itself. He wants to know how he got Mirakuru, while Diggle tells Oliver he is not who he says he is. In fact, this guy isn't even Barry Allen. He's a psycho pretending to be him. The real Barry Allen is in a cave with an iron mask on played by John Wesley Shipps. Nah, that's silly. So Slade and the others find the CGI Sub, because practical effects are dead.
Barry mocks dangerous chemicals being left around while lightning burst around. SUBTLE AS A GIANT SHARK GRABBING A MAN IN LEATHER AND READY TO EAT HIM! So Barry is surprised that Felicity gets perks for being super rich. She asks him to a date. So Roy, Thea, and Sin (The ladies) head to Sin's friend's apartment, and they see he was kidnapped at a blood drive. So Blood's boy toy cop tells Blood of this, and he gives a nonsense speech to Grundy. So the news says that the particle accelerator will definitely not not be bad. Ollie calls out Barry for being evil, and Barry goes 'RAAAAHHHH' And begins speeding around, killing people with his faze hand while going 'I AM ZOOM' while belching out his words. Nah, instead he has a hissy fit, saying his dad was good. He explains his dad was framed... BY A SUPER FAST YELLOW MAN WHO HAS RED SURROUND HIM KILLING HIS MOM! So Oliver kicks him out, and Felicity is pissed.
She was gonna get laid Boy. So almost no one comes for the party. Time to ramp it up. Bring me SS Harley Quinn in those booty shorts, and I promise a crowd of thousands. So Roy gets called to here Sin needs him. Man, if I don't get a poor stupid Roy Moment, I will flip. My. Lid. So Ollie brings in Barry, because he is use that nice. So Barry sucks at dancing. But he's an excellent scientist! If you got that refrence, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU WIN EVERYTHING EVER! So Ollie heads to the only women who will twiddle his Arrow... Isabel. Excuse me.
So Moria and Isabel meet, and boom, they are colder to each other then when Killer Frost gave Leonard that blow job. His dick was frozen for a decade. Then it shattered when Ronnie punched it. So Slade falls down, too weak after hearing of how Damien kicked his ass in the movie. So it seems their is no Mirakuru nice nice. So it's pure Mirakuru. How bad could that be? So Moria seems to have set up a meeting, and is happy. So Moria tells Thea she loves her. She gonna die! So Barry gets his balls chopped off by his boss, and needs to head back to Central City, which is only 20 inches away from the center of the universe, ironically enough. So Barry almost kills Felicity with his dorky cuteness, while Sin is arrested for being possibly gay in the 2nd degree. So it seems her friend has OD'ed, but he couldn't have... He saw Breakinng Bad for like, 7 times. He knows how bad drugs are.
So Felicity finds the place, which is an Argus base. She warns Ollie this guy's skin is as hard as concrete, but Ollie ain't afraid of no super soldiers. So he gives Slade the drug, while he tells Shado... He has a fetish for Asian chicks. So Roy calls in for Ollie's help, but Ollie decides to stop him... BY ARROWING HIM! Thank you episode. I was almost about to respect him.
Poor Stupid Roy Moment: 27
So Malcolm comes in, wanting Thea. He threatens her, but Moria isn't scared of this bitch. Why? Cause she has the league with her, and they are less then thrilled with Malcolm being a douche bag when that's their job. So Malcolm runs away, like a bitch.
So Ollie battles Grundy, who's super strength makes him too powerful to properly fight. One thing I want to say is, for all this beatdown... He isn't even a pure Mirakuru user. That means he isn't even as close to being as strong as a real one. With an army of these guys... Who needs Metas? So Slade dies. Oh no, I so believe that. Well the gang is captured. Diggle and Felicity head in, to see Ollie got his ass kick eyed. Hard. They see he was poisoned, with Felicity saying that she knows someone who can save him. Someone... Fast. Someone... Quirky. Someone... Named Caitlin Snow. But instead, they dart Barry, and he is sent to the Quiver. Felicity reveals, SHE IS THE ARROW! Nah, that's my nightmare post season 4, but for now, it's a joke. Instead, he has to play doctor with Ollie... And unlike my fanfiction, not the sexy kind.
Score: 7. Pretty good, but could be better. https://youtu.be/3suGfhnT2Sg
MVC: Barry. He is so cool, funny, and dorky. Plus... BARRY!
MSC: Malcolm. Watching his smug grin go to fear made me smile.
Thoughts: Barry, Grundy, Ollie beaten to death, super drugs, and even a little bit of Roy GETTING ARROWED makes this episode rather special to me.