Almost 2 months ago, I started this review series to see if I could make this Series seem better to others. I was met with some great episodes, and some shitty ones. I'm beginning to wonder if I can even hope to achieve something by doing this. Can I finish this series, or will I fore sake it? Will I forget it when I get to the Flash, and others? Well... I don't know. For now... I have to review my biggest challenge yet. 3 episodes. One reviewer. Can I beat it? Can I even survive it?
OF COURSE I WILL, IT'S A TV SHOW, NOT SOMETHING DANGEROUS!
So an accountant goes all evil, and sees something is up. His men head out to find they have a Hood infestation in their ceiling. So he messes these fools up and fails the accountant for being an asshole. He says he isn't scared of him, so Ollie just bitchslaps him and takes his lap top. Oliver has her give back the money to people, but this is season 1 Felicity, it will take her days to break something this difficult. Season 4 Felicity can do it one key stroke. Cause that's organic. (I MADE THE JOKE, HAPPY?!) So she asks about Diggle, and Ollie runs away crying. So Moria is angry about the insurance agency wants to give her money for Walters life, so now we get Moria's flashback! Yay! Robert and Malcolm hug it out, no homo cause Malcolm hates those gays. Walter comes in, being all 'I am not wanting to bang you'. Moria says kids are evil cause they turn into teenagers. Agreed, I hate teenagers, even when I was.
So the group wants to help the Glades, but Malcolm says fuck it, let's just kill people. Robert and the others find Malcolm's new business stragety... Weird. Malcolm says he can create a natural disaster, with some new technology, that can be made in 5 years. Robert finds this... Less then good. So Oliver goes all FoodFight/Barb wire on Laurel. I have seen those movies, and I do not suspect they ripped off any other. Laurel says Tommy broke up with her, and Oliver gives as many fucks as I give. Less then 0. In fact, I take my fucks away from her. Oliver goes 'Be true to yourself' and some shit, while Felicity says she is Nobody. OH MY GOD, SHE'S NOBODY700! It makes... NO GODAMN SENSE! Felicity needs to see Oliver for something important.
She says 2 million dollars is missing, all to kidnap Walter. Oh yeah, Walter was kidnapped... I forgot. They find that some Lorenzo guy may have kidnapped him, but he has an army. So they can't go all Arkham Asylum on him... They need to go all Assassins creed on him. Felicity will go in, because she has made fanfiction of Ezio's twin sister, Ezia. So in Queen's flashback, Robert and Walter hang with Robert glad he has a black best friend. But Malcolm is jealous because he doesn't have a black best friend. Malcolm explains he feels guilty because his wife called him, but ignored it. He blames himself, learning the messages were of her dying while calling for help. Ouch... Now I feel bad for the black best friend joke. Still, it's a great scene to show why Malcolm seems to hate a physical part of a city.
So Felicity hangs out with Diggle, who is digging his Diggleopolis. They need his help to save Walter, and Felicity mentions that Oliver will always be there for Diggle. She says Ollie will always need Diggle, but Diggle wants Oliver to say it. Damn it, he has a point. I hate when they have a point. So Felicity leaves, tired of walking down stairs. Laurel heads to Tommy, who is at work kicking puppies and consuming babies souls. She tries to be all relationship with Tommy, and he says just fuck Ollie. Gag me with a spoon, this is stupid. I'm not asking everything be superhero action, but be real drama, not romance drama. So Ollie and HOLY SHIT, Felicity is making me reconsider my opinion of blondes, so Hot Felicity heads out to gamble.
He gives her the password, and she heads in, being all not adorably dorky. She fails. He tells her to be careful, cause everyone is going to kill her if she messes up. So Felicity decides to gamble, because she has played Fallout New Vegas before, and was great at it. So Malcolm is super happy, cause now he can destroy the glades, and make his mortal nemesis... Roy, homeless. He also says Moria gives him the strength to go on... And mentions a connection. I bet that's not important! So they drink to dead loved ones.
Moria mentions Ted Kord, who is my second favorite Blue Beetle, and Robert mentions someone. She thinks it's his lover, he says its Malcolm. So she thinks Robert is talking about his lover, but Robert is less then thrilled with Malcolm's 'Kill them all and let God sort them out' plan. So Robert mentions how some man wanted a bribe from him, and they fought. Robert says he accidentally killed him, and wants to atone. Moria tries to help him stop Malcolm's crazy ass plan, and we cut to Felicity winning at gambling, because she has main character powers. Basically, you are too good, or too bad. Well the house hates people winning even a dollar, and takes her out to the back.
So Lorenzo wants her out of his casino... In terms of life! Ollie is pissed, and heads in, kicking all the ass! So by scared of an army, he meant scared he will kick too much ass! Also for possible casualties. Lorenzo has Felicity hostage, but he takes him out, and wants to know where Walter is. The guy explains he is underground... In hell! Ollie responds by smacking his ass sideways. They are less then pleased. So Ollie comes home, telling everyone that Walter is dead. Moria, says this is impossible. She should know. She runs away, and is pissed off. He hugs Thea, and they cry while we then see Robert and Frank hanging.
Robert tells Frank he is out, and he comes up with a plan to buy up the glades to stop Malcolm. He says he will use the Queens gambit to head to China, without making Malcolm suspicious. We then see super flashback Oliver, AND WOW... He looks like a douche. Good job Stephen, did not you could look even lamer with one haircut then any other living being. So Laurel pretends to be looking up her SAT's, when yeah... She is too old. She wants an apartment, and Ollie practically freaks out, thinking about fucking her sister. Maybe even Sarah, if he is just as much as an asshole as his haircut is. Moria heads to Malcolm, pissed off. Malcolm shows her that Walter isn't dead. But Ollie has a hearing arrow! HOT DAMN!
He is super duper sad, and Felicity tries to console him.
Felicity: So your mom is evil, huh? Well... So is my dad!
Oliver: Your dad is named the Calculator, we have no comparison.
He asks her to look up Malcolm's phone records, and they find out where Walter is. Ollie heads out, with intense workout music plays, where he shows these bitches what the hood is made of. He also has a cute little green parachute that lets him do frog leaps. So he heads in, and kicks all of security's ass with the ease of a hippo beating up a baby fox. He finds and frees Walter. Walter is back home, happy he can now be paid to be in an episode, and everyone is glad he's back... But him. Felicity comes in, being friends with half the people here, and they hug... But no one hugs Felicity. Because she has been a bad girl.
So at the yacht of the past, Robert heads to China to PAR-TAY by saving the Glades. Ollie decides to join in, wanting to have fun. Also he got kicked out of school. No one gives a fuck. Also Sara comes in to help... While Sarah is high off meth in the boats storage. Laurel comes to say goodbye, while Ollie looks as freaked out to see her as me. She then gives him a pic of her. No nude pics, so no wonder she is a bad GF. But we see Frank has called Malcolm! Frank you bastard, you shall pay... Oh, you already did.
So Ollie heads to see Malcolm, and Oliver semi threatens Malcolm, who semi gets it. Laurel comes to see Ollie, which makes him wonder what he is doing with his life. He runs off to see Diggle, his one true love, and he apologizes. He says he needs help to take her and Malcolm down, while Unidac transports its weapon to Starling.
Score: 7. Pretty good, but could be better. https://youtu.be/3suGfhnT2Sg
So what most people don't know, is that the middle episode of a trilogy is usually the weakest. This is due to just leading into the last part. Course, exceptions exist. Is this episode one of them? Let's see!
Darkness on the edge of Town
So a scientist tries to seduce his coworker, but his coworkers dead bodies ruin his mellow. The Dark Archer kills everyone and destroys the floor so know one will know of his invention. He drives away in his sexy black car, doing a serious pouty face. Walter says Moria has done nothing evil since they found out, but Oliver is too pissed to care. He is not okay. They try to find out the Undertaking, while Felicity mistakes it as having sex with him. You pervert. So he sees Laurel and oh my god. I noticed something. Season 1 first half, she was a bitch. Now... She's just for romance drama. Somehow, romance Drama Laurel... IS EVEN WORST THEN ASSHOLE LAUREL! Wow... That is impressive. Also lame ass drama romance crap scene.
So Walter heads home, less then pleased with Moria, while Thea gets a text. Oliver tells Thea to be nice to Walter. The news shows a massacre of scientist, which reminds Ollie of his almost massacre. Well, I think 4 people is the minimum for a massacre. Ollie sees cave vagina man is a soldier, while Yaoi explains he saved them from a massive bombing on the forest. The soldiers are revealed to have a commercial flyer heading to the island, so they can destroy it. So Ollie is. Pissed that the copy cat is back, killing scientist for some reason. FOR EVIL, DUH!
Roy explains he borrows things... Illegally, while stalking Lance. Thea says he worships the Hood, which he does. Roy says that Thea has a way to get the hood. Her sexuality! So Moria is semi threatened by Ollie to stop being evil, and the house loses power. Oh man! She too, is knocked out. By the Arrow! Crap on a crap crap... With an extra side of crap. He sees that they are starring in deleted scenes of Fifty Shades of Green 2, and the Arrow expresses his loathing of Oliver. So Fyers, in exposition flashback, Fyers wants to destroy China's economy. That's not how it works, Buddy. Course we later find out it was just to kill one person! That's... Even more stupid.
So Fyers threatens to kill everyone if Yaoi Fei doesn't help him. Thea heads to the Police HQ, telling a black man he is racist for arresting Black people. Man, we need that movie. Black Cop killing black guys. Black War! That would be the most racist movie ever. MAKE IT SO! So Thea hears news, and heads to Roy, using product Placement to look up Arrow porn. Seems that somehow, the Dark Archer iOS connected to Merlyn, and they plan to wait there for Arrow V.S Archer. So Diggle, as the arrow, goes all Season 5 promo beatdown on Ollie to intimidate the audience... I mean Moria, into thinking he is really beating him down. He wants to know what Malcolm is planning. So he kicks Ollie's ass some more.
Moria says he will level the Glades, causing an earthquake with some earthquake machine. Diggle frees Ollie, and Ollie leaves her to rot in their weird ass basement. So Ollie wants info on Unidac, wanting to know what's up, and Felicity preps things up to help stop an earthquake. So Ollie must stop Malcolm and the Archer... Oh the irony, where she hacks into Malcolm's place to find the earthquake machine. Yaoi Fey agrees to do it, while handing Ollie a knife. Make sure Ollie doesn't run with it! So Fyers calls his boss, and his boss tells a lady with nice legs the plan is a go. Nice... Nice... Nice legs.
So Walter is shown to be Buddy Buddy with Malcolm, who tells Moria the plan is at hand. She is pissed, but Malcolm gives no shit. He's so happy, he could have some fun with his newest victims. So Lance wants Tommy to tell him info of this, but Tommy has barely been working there, so it doesn't help. So Lance learns his daughter still likes Oliver, and he reacts like me... With disgust. So Felicity is having problems hacking (Season 4... Keystroke) where she says that the only way to do it quicker is to get the mainframe. So Ollie must break in, all sexy Ollie wise. He wants to meet with Tommy, while Felicity hands in food for Andrew. Diggle seems to be the security, and she hands him the food.
She kicks some asshole out of the elevator where Diggle has drugged his security guard friend and changes feeds. Now, time for rape. Diggle style. Where you enjoy it. So Oliver gets out of the elevator, and he goes all Tarzan with her. By being like Batman. They head to the mainframe, where Ollie meets with Tommy while Felicity hacks. So Ollie and Tommy have relationship drama...
THANKS, THATS WHAT I LIKE! NEEDLESS DRAMA I DON'T CARE FOR! Have some real drama, okay? So Ollie tries to save Felicity, but Malcolm stops him. So Felicity goes an adorable yes, but is caught. Adorable no? Before Ollie can save Felicity, Thea interrupts him, and Diggle goes in, saying Felicity is Laurel's whore, and she jokes with him saying he is her man. Thea also says Roy is not her BF, he is her slave. She also says Roy is obsessed with Oliver, and Oliver threatens Roy, by saying the Arrow will kill him.
Poor Stupid Roy moment: 18
So the heist is over... And I want to say I liked almost everything in it because it was action packed, clever, funny, and had Roy be messed with but the Tommy drama. So...
So Roy comes home super sad, thinking he can get Vertigo sold, and he hates Ollie because... Fuck you, he hates Ollie. Thea is pissed at Roy for saying this, but Roy makes it about himself, and runs away. Thea breaks up with Roy, because of his stupid love of the hood.
Poor Stupid Roy Moment: 19
So Walter divorces Moria, being slightly angry of being kidnapped. So he leaves. Lance learns that the main frame is too hard, but he says someone else tried to hack it, and he knows who did it. Felicity. Damn, whatever happened to this guy, he's good... Oh, most likely dead. Damn. So Ollie finally learns the Undertaking is his dad's mess, and he decides to destroy the Undertaking, to save the city. After that, no more Hood. Man, is he serious? What do you say, Season 2, 3, 4, and 5 in the development? I say he did, and the rest is 'Living with the Arrow's.' So Ollie heads to Laurel, where Radioactive plays. Oh fuck, that song was everywhere and OH MY GOD LAUREL AND OLLIE ARE FUCKING!
Tommy sees them fucking, while pissed that somehow their love is going nuclear. So Ollie is called by Diggle who has found the device. He goes after it while Ollie chases at Malcolm. Yaoi Fei takes the blame for blowing up the plane, and is videotaped. Fyers then kills him. FUCK! A DUCK! So Diggle heads out to find the Earthquake machine, while Ollie heads after Malcolm. He says he has failed the city, while Diggle tells him nothing is in the box. He asks where it is, but Malcolm says he made it leave when he saw he was hacked. Damn, he is smart. Malcolm explains many must die, so Ollie starts with Malcolm. He fires an arrow, and he catches the arrow. He then tells him he is the Dark Archer, and they battle. While Ollie does well, Malcolm wins. He now has Ollie trapped, and knows his identity. Which you should never do, letting a bad guy know who you are is always bad. Unless they are a woman who is always in skin tight leather and has a sexy animal theme... Then do it.
Score: 5. Average, nothing more, nothing less https://youtu.be/ussCHoQttyQ
Now, how shall things end?! SEASON 1 SEASON FINALE, AND IT SHALL SHAKE THE SERIES FOREVER!
So Fifty shades of...
Everyone: STOP IT!
Fine, no more jokes about that... For the rest of Season 1. Well Ollie is pissed at Malcolm for torture, and Malcolm gives no fucks, saying he is still a good guy. He explains that Ollie may be sexy, but that he starred in Torchwood, so he knows true pain. He leaves, letting Ollie dangle in his sex dungeon. So CGI Planes (My least favorite airline) travels to be locked on. Ollie escapes, and kicks ass while Slade and Shado mess up everyone. Fyers orders the missile to fire, and it does. Well shit. So Ollie uses this memory to do the world's sexiest escape.
Am I straight? Am I gay? Am I in between?! WHO KNOWS! So he escapes by kicking ass, which everyone should do, and Diggle helps, saying tracking devices are fun. So the team works together to oh, Lance arrests Felicity. Son of a turkey sandwich with holding the mayo. Felicity freaks out, while Lance holds her hostage with the law! So he knows she is Besties with the hood. Oliver calls him, telling him the plot. Lance finds this absolutely stupid. So Lance let's her go, cause crazy shit has happened to him. One time, this woman named the Pilgrim... Nah, that's a story for Tomorrow.
<Is shot dead by everyone>
So Tommy heads to the bar to be all romantic emo, and he is angry at him for kissing her. Nah, he fucked her Tommy, get it right. Well Oliver explains about everything, and Tommy tries to kick his ass. He fails. Tommy then tells him he wished he died on that island. Harsh. So the missile goes off, while Shado and Slade pretty much kill an entire army. Ollie has a riding battle on a missile launcher, and saves the plane by deprogramming the missile. Hurray! It heads toward the base. NO! Thankfully, our heroes live! Yay!
So Lance explains the plot, and the cops find him stupid and crazy. He gives a passionate speech to help. He is demoted. Ouch. So Oliver asks Moria to help, and he tells Moria that Robert committed Suicide, instead of dying there. He tells her to help him, but Moria says no. Too bad the plan is going down tonight. So Oliver heads out, ready to do what he must. Laurel comes in (SON OF A BITCH) and Oliver gives a bitch speech about how Laurel is the light of his life and oh no, I just fast forwarded! He tells her to stay out of the Glades, and this will help her find out he is the Arrow... Never. Laurel is, as stupid as a rock.
Tommy goes in crying to his dad, making fun of Oliver of thinking he wants the Glades destroyed. So Malcolm tells him 'Dude, I am.' He then shows Tommy the dying words of his mother. Ouch. Malcolm explains to Tommy that he will kill everyone there, ranting for the first time. It's... Rather scary.
So Diggle tells Oliver that Felicity found out what the symbols really mean. He is using the subway to cause the Glades to crumble, and they will use the fault lines there to do so. Oliver is about to head out, when Thea calls him, with Moria with reporters. She confesses to her misdeeds, and Malcolm has a freak out with the news. She then tells everyone in the Glades to get out. Thea is angry, and heads out to save Roy, but Moria is arrested. Well Tommy is angry his dad caused a few massacres, and Malcolm goes 'Meh'. He shows Tommy his archer outfit... Again, but this time he is ready to put it on.
The cops come in to arrest Malcolm (THAT WAS FAST!) but Malcolm guts them like fish. Tommy holds his dad hostage, but Malcolm just bitchslaps his son. Felicity apologizes to Ollie for... Some reason, and Ollie says at least his mom may have saved everyone. He then takes his original bow to fight. He tells Diggle to. Find the device, while he goes after Malcolm. Diggle wants him, but Oliver needs to make sure he doesn't get away. Diggle says he can help defeat Malcolm, and he states they are a team. It's a great scene of awesome friendship.
Oliver tells Felicity to go, but she isn't leaving. Not even if the nuclear Armageddon goes down. So Oliver calls Lance and tells him to go to where Malcolm's wife was murdered... It's where the machine is. How... Sweet? So everyone in the Glades riots and runs away while looting, and Roy stays home, too stupid to leave. Lance heads out trying to find the machine, while Oliver and Diggle look for Malcolm. So at the flashbacks, Oliver looks for his friends, and finds a sweet ass bow for him to use. Slade laughs, saying Oliver always makes a mess, even when he saves everyone. Fyers comes out, holding Shado hostage, but Oliver points his bow at him. Fyers is pissed that Oliver has ruined his goal, and he makes a deal with Ollie.
He will let Oliver go if he lets Fyers go. Oliver just fires his bow. Right in the throat. Just to shut Fyers up.
So Ollie finds Tommy, and Tommy apologizes for being a whiny jerk, and Oliver tells him to leave. Diggle finds the guys secret room, where he is in it... With his GODAMN fan. Malcolm has the transmitter, and they chase after him. The two fight Malcolm, and this time he doesn't do as well, but he does knife Diggle. Diggle tells him to go, and they battle at the roof. Lance looks for the machine, and finds it with incredible ease. Felicity guides him on what to do, and he has 7 minutes to stop it. So at the looting, Roy stopes people from raping people, and he kicks some rapist ass. Sadly the guy has a gun... But Roy had a Girl friend! She takes him down with beer, and she rescues Roy.
You know what, no! It's not weenie to be saved by the woman you love! That's manly. You got a badass for a girlfriend. So Oliver and Malcolm have their final battle... For season 1, and Malcolm catches a bow... THAT BLOWS UP! So Lance cuts a wire, causing the machine to speed up. He freaks out, and calls Laurel. Laurel is taking cases ready to escape, but he tells her to just run. Laurel, like a moron... Does not take this advice, and just cries. Lance tries to just tell her to not be like him. She decides to agree with him. SHE WILL BECOME EVEN WORSE! No... Fucking... Joke.
So Lance says he loves her, and he decides to do what he has to do. Listen to Felicity. Roy helps escape, but he nearly crashes. Well he decides to help a bus full of innocents, because damn it, he may be a weenie of the ultra magnitude, but he is a weenie with a heart of gold! So Oliver and Malcolm fight, with the two doing crotch tackles, but before Malcolm can kill Oliver, he remembers his father's words, and stabs Malcolm with an arrow. He has won! The Green Arrow has defeated the Dark Archer!
So Lance succeeds, he stops the machine! THEY DID IT! THEY SAVED THE GLADES, BEAT THE BAD GUY, AND NO ONE IMPORTANT DIED! HOORAY!
Malcolm explains one thing though. He has a second earth quake machine.
It activates, destroying almost half of the glades. Umm... Well shit.the streets go out, and everyone runs away. Laurel is trapped, with everyone leaving her dumbass behind. Felicity is sobbing, knowing she fucked up more then anyone. Laurel sobs, knowing she fucked up even more, begging for help. Tommy decides to save her, trying to help her escape, and tells her he loves her. She escapes and runs away, but the building goes out. Right behind her. No... Oh god... Lance stops her from entering, with Ollie heading in. There, he sees Tommy, trapped. Here's Tommy, where we see... He was stabbed by rebar. Oh fuck... No.... Ollie tries to console him, saying he stopped his dad, and everything will be great.
But Tommy tells him that he's sorry... He won't be hanging around. Ollie and Tommy both apologize, and forgive each other... Where Tommy dies. Oliver, breaks down, and saying he should have died.
Now, how do I feel about Tommy's death? I should be ranting, right? Wrong. The difference between Hall and Tommy, is that Tommy left with respect, honor, and was treated with the dignity his character deserved. Hall however, was thrown aside like leftovers. So I am not angry, only sad, because a character I like is gone. So Tommy, we shall miss you, for all your warts and scars, you were one of the best characters in the Arrowverse. You were a best friend our hero deserved, and was there for him in the end. You may now rest in Arrow heaven, where naked supermodels await for you, with the best kickball game ever.
So the episode ends with the Glades in destruction... And that's it. That is, the end of the season. What happens next... Is best seen next time. I will be there, and I hope, so shall you.
Score: 10! An epic episode and must watch. https://youtu.be/wDajqW561KM
Thoughts: When I first saw the season finale, I was taken back by everything. The comedy in the second episode, the badass ending in the third, and the preparation for the end in the first. While not perfect, I was still impressed by how everything ended, and I loved the other two episodes. Tommy dying was treated with the respect I wished Hall, and some future characters, would get. Malcolm was a well developed villian, ruined by the series trying to pretend he could become a good guy despite what he did, and will do. The flashbacks ending was just as amazing, and Olivers growth from the series amazed me. I will go in more detail soon, but for now, I can safely say... I rather enjoy Season 1 as a whole, with all its flaws and for its amazing pros. W]