In today's episode, we go from an extreme high, to an extreme low. Well, let's go.
So we see a ring so big, it would break my GF's sister if I give it to her. A security guard basically acts like he's high, and he convinces his partner to help him grab it. He steals it, and expertly escapes by acting super obvious, and meets a grizzly grizzled man. He has an explosive collar around the guy, and zaps him when he gets the diamond. So, while Ollie acts super sexy, making Felicity remember her womanly parts. Oliver brags about his newest victim, and Felicity locks him out. Seems she feels bad for her new victim, saying he is a single dad. She fears Ollie will arrow him, and he's pissed at her. I can see both sides, but she acts like he is the Devil. So...
So, at flashback world, he treats Slade who seems to be infected by the bullet. Damn it past Ollie! You suck! Slade wants some porn while Ollie heads for medicine. Slade warns him he won't last an hour, but Oliver brags he can last an average episode of Arrow out there. Maybe half. So, in present, Moria meets up with some friend of her in the Undertaking, and she wants out of it. She is done with her husband's either dying or getting kidnapped. Frank seems to have known that Robert wanted out, but Moria still trusts him. She fears the Undertaking will also end the city. She appeals to him, and he agrees. So, at IT, Oliver and Diggle look for Felicity, and Oliver admits he may have killed him for the secret. He apologizes for acting like a crazy guy. He also mentions he warned the guy to put the money back.
At news, the police talk of the Dodger, who uses others to rob for him. Worst. Thief. Ever. Oliver decides to impress Felicity by taking him down. Classic. Beating up criminals is how I get dates. So at some mob boss's place, the Dodger hands him the diamond, and wants to be paid. The mob boss decides that killing him is better then paying, because that's how you make deals! Not like that will actually hurt your chance to make more deals, thus blacklisting you among all mercs for being a known betrayer. Starling city's underworld is run by morons.
The Dodger kicks his men's ass and kills him. Lame. So at burger palooza, Felicity finds it weird they speak of murder at it. I do it all the time. Everyone ribs on Diggle to date his sister in law, and Diggle fights back by making him romance Hall. Diggle leaves, and Oliver makes a plan with Hall. Felicity says to seduce the cop, and put a chip in the computer to get any data. My kind of plan. So Diggle asks his sister in law out. Oh man, here is the moment I have been waiting for since this review series started! Thea and Laurel go get hotdogs when...
They have their purse snatched! The man runs off, but is blocked by a gate. Just like in life. Then he jumps over it. But because this man is a butt monkey, he left some stuff there. Poor, stupid Roy.
Poor Stupid Roy meter: Level 1
So Ollie meets up with Hall, and they flirt/interrogate/slow each other while Oliver gets the info he needs. She is sad they don't fuck anymore, and Ollie asks her out. She agrees. Good for Oliver, screw a cop over like he screws with Lance. So, reminding him of a women, his flashback shows him a moist and tight cave. :D
He finds in there, a bleeding and sobbing man in trouble. Like most women's vaginas! WAIT WHAT?!
So in present day, they find that he needs a fence. Time to build a fence! So Thea uses the INTERWEB to find Roy with his wallet, and Ollie talks with her, scared. Last time he had sex, it was... Kinda weird. Thea gets a call, most likely telling her that they found the twerp. She also knows he is a model. Thea asks if Lance arrests people. We also learn that the key wimp is Roy, everyone's favorite crazy one armed drugged out can't have sex mistakes cats with his daughter trucker hat wearing guy who has sex with orange aliens.
What I'm saying is, is that Roy is weird.
So Diggle goes on the world's lamest date. Oliver goes on a good date, where everything is on FIRE! Hall asks too many questions, and stops. We then see clips of Ollie getting his ass kicked. I so wanna give a point for this, but I won't. But they are amazing. Every conversation should flashback to him getting his ass kicked. So Hall gets called about the Dodger, and now Ollie wants revenge on him. So in the cave of flashbacks, the man states he is the only survivor of an accident, but Oliver has some problems believing any of this. Still, I like this. Should he help this man, who may be a soldier? He could be telling the truth... Or he could be an enemy.
So at the next fence meeting, he tries to do is deal, but the police come. A gun battle goes off, and the Dodger escapes. While running away, Oliver goes at him, and he is ready to kill. But then, the guy throws an exploding collar at him. Clever girl. But not that clever. So Ollie and Diggle are depressed they didn't get laid, and Felicity pulls up the record for seeing what kind of things he may steal. They learn that the Dodger is willing to steal from cancer patients. Wow... He sucks. So, Ollie uses his powers of being rich to get something that the Dodger wants.
So Roy JR. (JR?! J.R?! OH MAN, BLESS THIS SHOW) is being interrogated by Lance. Roy goes 'I'm an orphan' to make himself seem sympathetic. Lance though, thinks of him as pure scum. Roy says he doesn't like stealing, saying he has a mom with a problem, and Lance calls him a moron.
Poor Stupid Roy Moment: 2
Roy goes on a sob story about having a mom on vertigo, and Thea let's him go. Laurel looks as sad as when I learned I had to pay an extra dollar at McDonalds. At Morias' she asks Frank to help her find Walter. He says... No. They are going to hell instead. At the fundraiser, Oliver gives away a gaudy looking thing, while Diggle and Ollie find that HOLY SHIT FELICITY IS HOT! Hell, i'm not even into blondes... Damn. So they see that Hall is there, and Ollie is too scared to talk to her. Somehow, the Dodger... Steals the broach with such ease, even by them letting him steal it, it's too easy. Also, Felicity has now joined the cast of Fifty shades of Green.
So our heroes try to disarm it, while Ollie goes after the Dodger. Ollie kicks some guys ass for his motorcycle. So he goes off after our bad guy, trying to find him. So one incredibly dangerous rescue later, he finally catches up with him... After one of the most boring chase scenes ever.
Yeah, THAT BORING! So Ollie faces off with the Dodger, who threatens to blow her head up. Ollie cuts his nerve up in return. He tries to pull a steal from the rich crap, but Ollie says he's no Robin Hood. Yeah, hate to say this... But season 3 is still better then that Robin Hood show. Fuck, now that... Was a shit show. So at the vagina of flashbacks, Ollie is almost convinced by the guy, but decides against it. He can't trust him. He walks away, with the man begging him. So, at the park, Diggle... I remind you, DIGGLE... Gives a speech so bad...
WHY?! I LOVE YOU DIGGLE! So at Roy's place, Thea used the Internet to stalk Roy. Roy gives a speech about how Thea wants to save her Like a... Hey Roy... You're white! Shut up!
Roy: But I'm super poor, and I live in a bad part...
Me: White. Shut up.
Roy: Oh man.
I am willing to mess with Roy. So Thea gets her purse back, and he goes to his room to cry about having a dead daughter that doesn't exist in this show. Hill somehow... Thinks Oliver was a dick last night? What?! What did he do?! No, I'm genuinely unsure of what he did. She is the one who left the date for her job, not him! What the hell? So Ollie gives a pussy speech, and they make out. He then asks about a dinner that for some reason he says he won't cut short despite... SHE WAS THE ONE WHO DID SO... Man, that scene was lame.
So in a more coherent scene, a dying man is given aid, while Ollie doesn't mention the dying man. So Moria meets up with a friend of Frank... China white! She wants her to kill Malcolm Merlyn! Dun dun dun!
Score: 1. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! https://youtu.be/bZC5QeTX_PA
Thoughts: Oh man, this episode blows! While not nearly as bad as some others of this ranking, it is boring, stupid, and a waste of time. Note though... Their is a score of 0. I would have given the scene with Hall and Ollie a loss point, but a 0 is too bad. Trust me.